When it comes to therapy, you can get a whole variety of opinions and also feel a whole bunch of emotions. We’ve all heard it before.
Therapy? Isn’t that for one of the Real Housewives of Orange County?
Therapy? Why can’t you just talk to your friends about it?
Therapy? Do you know who you need to talk to? The Lord! Just pray about it!
Therapy? What do you have to be sad about? You have a roof over your head and food on the table!
Therapy? …*silence* *judgement* *sips tea*
So, let’s run down this list and break down why none of these responses make any sense when it comes to your mental health.
Let’s start with the first one, shall we? Therapy isn’t for your type.
What this very shady person is trying to imply is that you, as a Black millennial, are not a White housewife from the OC.
Therapy isn’t for you because it simply isn’t something that “we do.”
This person envisions therapy as a space where you throw money at someone to listen to you rant for an hour. The therapist then throws some Xanax your way and calls it a day. You repeat this every week. But, here’s the thing. As a Black millennial, you are going to through shit.
Family shit. Friends shit. Work shit.
You need someone to work throughout it with you – an unbiased third party that can help you sort through it all. It may be something you need to chat through or maybe you need to be medicated. But, the point is that you deserve to figure it out – whether you are a White housewife or not.
As Jesse Williams eloquently put it, just because we are magic doesn’t mean we aren’t real.
Next on the list, we have the misinformed person who insists that every problem in your life can be solved by soliciting advice from your sisters and brothers.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am blessed with some pretty dope friends in my life that are willing to listen to any of my problems.
But, here’s the thing.
They also have things going on in their lives and sometimes it can feel like I am:
- a) burdening them with too much
- b) asking them for advice on problems they can’t quite solve themselves
So, even if you have some dope friends, your friend is not a trained mental health professional. Nor, should you expect them to be. If you are venting here and there, that’s okay. But, if you feel like you are always dumping on your friends with no improvement in sight, it may be time to turn to a professional.
Next up, the “just pray about the problem argument…”
This has to be one of my personal pet peeves. Because why can’t we do both?
Yes, religion, spirituality, and community have been a source of support for our community for many decades upon decades. But, as someone who believes in God, I simply don’t understand why we can’t bless our minds with those that God put on earth to help heal our troubled spirits.
Yes, as someone goes to therapy, I can attest – prayer helps!
But, sometimes, I need God to speak through my therapist and tell me how to straighten out my life.
What’s so bad about that?
What do you have to be sad about? You have a house, food, and your education…
Often, our aunties and uncles have been taught to physical survival is the key to happiness. So, I’m here to let you know that it’s okay if a warm bed and a warm meal aren’t helping your mental health. Sure, things could be worse but things could be better. Reach out to a mental health professional, guilt-free – you deserve!
The last one I have on my list is judgment…which is such a wack response it doesn’t even need a whole paragraph.
Cut them out of your life, period. Or, at least, set up some boundaries. If you had a physical illness, you wouldn’t stop going to a hospital because your “friend” judged you. I hope not. Do you, boo.
So, if you have anyone raining on your parade when it comes to therapy, feel free to clap back with a few of these arguments.
Or, not, because honestly, it’s not anyone’s business but your own.
Periodt.
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