In our community, mental health is starting to become prioritized but we aren’t all the way there yet. We still have that one family member (…or two or three) that insists that therapy is for White people.
The answer is in the Church, or in prayer, or in your exercise routine, or in just accepting the way you feel and moving on. All of these things can definitely help your mental health but it’s not the end all be all.
Sometimes, you need to speak with a professional and that’s okay.
Now, I’ll be honest. Walking into a therapy office is not easy. When I would take the LIRR to see my therapist in Manhattan, I would always try to make up an excuse in case I ran into anyone I knew.
“Girl, I’m just going to a doctor’s appointment.”
“Oh hey! Nice to see you! Yup, I’m meeting up with some family for lunch!”
“Hey, y’all! What’s up? Oh, I just had to get out to do some shopping in the city.”
But, when my parents got separated, it took a massive hit to my mental health. I was tearing up at work, avoiding colleagues, and had a serious lack of motivation. I was angrier and more irritable. I wasn’t myself which led me to realize that I needed to work out some things with a professional. But, for a while, ya girl was in denial.
Donning that “strong black woman in the making” cape, it took me a while to admit that I did not have it all the way together.
Like, at all.
So y’all, here are tips from the American Psychological Association on when it may be time to seek a professional…
Do you spend some amount of time just thinking about the problem?
Whew, chile. This was definitely me. I would find myself zoning out at work, in my room, or just spacing out in my parked car. My thoughts would be focused one moment and the next I’m replaying a family fight. I had to practice to snap myself back to reality. I felt like Raven whenever she had a vision. A glaze would just fade over my face and instead of being able to see into the future…I was just endlessly reminiscing about the past.
Over the past few months, has the problem reduced your quality of life?
Yes, yes, and yes. Unfortunately, my parents’ separation was not the happiest time in my life. Did I mention this was all happening while I was trying to study for the MCAT and apply for medical school? Even though I knew how important my entrance exam was, I started sleeping more, feeling more anxious, and less hopeful that anything in my life would improve.
Have you curtailed your work or educational ambitions because of the problem?
Okay, the American Psychological Association is just speaking to me right now. A month before my MCAT, I ran to my mother in tears because I felt like the pressure to do well on the exam in the midst of the family chaos was swallowing me whole. I was seriously considering applying the following year instead of that upcoming summer.
So, there y’all have it! Of course, there a billion reasons that one could consider seeing a therapist. But, I hope me being a tad vulnerable in these examples helps set the stage. Therapy helped me tremendously. So, if you are down to break a generational curse or two, consider if it’s time to speak with someone.
How did you know it was time for therapy?
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