Michael Tennant is the Chief Executive Officer of Curiosity Lab – an integrated storytelling studio dedicated to spreading inclusivity, empathy, and well-being. Not only is Michael the creator of the HIGHLY popular empathy-driven conversation game, @actuallyc_rious, but he’s also a keynote speaker, author, and new dad! Did I also mention that his company was featured in The New York Times, The Today Show, Refinery 29, and Goop? And that his company is a Black Ambition Prize winner?
I also want to note that this was my first time meeting Michael ever. Even though we are both graduates of the Maynard 200 Fellowship, we graduated during different years. I reached out to him on a whim after getting introduced to his work through our Fellowship alumni newsletter.
He really could have said, “I literally don’t even know this woman,” and left me on read.
But, he didn’t!
In fact, he went above and beyond to get to know me and my journey before we even got into the interview. So, when he says he’s all about empathy and compassion, he really is about it!
Let’s dive into the interview!
I guarantee you’ll leave with more than a few pearls of wisdom from Michael.
Isabelle: Can you tell me a little bit about yourself?
Michael: I’m an entrepreneur. I’m a dad. I’m a husband. I’m a son. I’m so grateful that I still have both my parents. My parents immigrated here in the late 70s from Jamaica and I’m already feeling emotional…maybe, it’s just the time I’m in. I feel like, with the foreshadowing of talking about self-love, that I have the permission to feel.
Isabelle: Of course! Please, do feel! Feel all the feelings!
Michael: I want to model for our people permission to feel. I want to model for our generation to feel because our parents maybe feel like they don’t have that permission. I grew up in Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn and I am youngest of four boys. Many of our ancestors came over here as teachers and doctors but some of our ancestors came over here and did whatever they needed to do. I’m sitting here in a hotel and my mom’s first job was clearing ash trays at a hotel. You know? I had aunts who were nannies. You know who they did that for? They did that for us to give us a better opportunity. So, when I think about that sacrifice, I think it hits a little bit differently because I have more capacity to have appreciate their sacrifice.
Isabelle: That’s an incredible sacrifice! It’s a lot to think about and it’s very important to honor that as well.
Michael: So, rooting in that and honoring that sacrifice and honoring that superpower to endure…we get to build upon this foundation. I asked and my parents allowed me to go boarding school and I left Brooklyn at 12 and entered White America at that time. I went to The Hills School in Pennsylvania. When I was there, Donald Trump, Jr. had graduated the year before and then in my junior year Eric Trump entered the school. I didn’t have much interaction with either of them (laughs). Then, I went to Hamilton College and studied economics and philosophy there. At first, I thought that the banker track was for me but I didn’t really take to the advanced math. But, I was really drawn to philosophy and how people come to their own process of thought, decisioning, and how most topics outside of science are fairly subjective. So, philosophy was a big part in opening my curiosity that related really deeply to empathy and compassion. Or, even the sport of understanding of how people arrive at thoughts and feelings that I may not agree with.
Isabelle: Launching off of that, what inspired you to start your business? Was it finding that through-line of philosophy?
Michael: After a fourteen year media career, I became the head of strategic partnerships for a top three media agency and I started to pitch more ideas about purpose-driven business. I had this deeply felt sense that the eight figure, million dollar campaigns that we were doing with media companies…if we could just even take a fraction of that and affect the consumers in a positive way then it would be more meaningful to the brand.
But, I couldn’t get those ideas through.
From a personal standpoint, the 2016 election happened and I just felt this, almost shame, of not using my agency. Then, thirdly, my brother Chris, who was my favorite person in my family, had a stroke. I felt like I really needed to be with him. So, those were the key points that got me the inspiration and momentum that I was going to leave my job.
So, in 2017, I opened a values-driven strategy agency and we wanted people to know that we were deeply rooted in authentic values as an organization. We were having conversations about how our clients could communicate that authenticity from the inside out. That theory applies to everything that I do as an individual.
What are your values? Should we reassess them? From there, how are you engaging with the communities that you touch?
So, that’s the theory of Curiosity Labs and actually how we ended up creating the Actually Curious game. This is the third edition (holds up very stylish looking conversation card deck).
Isabelle: Yes, I love the concept and I love conversation games – especially ones that have to do with empathy. Medical students need more empathy. Some more than others…but, let me calm down (laughs).
But, going back to your brother, I am really happy that you took the space to be with him. That’s what draws a lot of people to medicine, especially Black people, that turning point in someone’s health or your own health.
Michael: Yeah, thank you! I am trying not to be so long-winded (laughs). We created Actually Curious and made 100 decks and they sold out is less than a week. So, I knew we had something sticky! My mind was racing and I was thinking, “That’s where we need to focus.” But, then, things started falling apart with my business partner, the business started failing, and my brother Chris who I mentioned earlier unfortunately died. Then, all my toxic coping mechanisms started coming up.
I was doing drugs, drinking often, and I was a workaholic.
My brother, Chris, died on a Friday and the very next day I thought I was going to overdose. I had to sit with a friend until my body was regulated like until the sun came up. I entered into rehab and I had to sneak around because I didn’t want anybody to know. My parents didn’t know. It was so hard to get that help.
Plus, then, I was calling around and trying to find the appropriate help where I felt safe and not just get sorted into this monolith with everyone dealing with an addiction. It was very humbling and it was complicated.
There were a lot of barriers and fears but definitely barriers first. Like, I’m an educated person and fairly regulated and I didn’t know shit about Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES) until very recently and how that plays into addiction. I had a very, very hard time!
Isabelle: Thank you for sharing that and I am super happy that you got the help that you needed because clearly you have a gift to share! That’s actually the reason I started this website. It is so wild to me that even though myself and my friends are fairly educated that we are still so, so lost when it comes to the healthcare system and taking care of ourselves. And that’s even more detrimental for Black folks like us.
Michael: And to put some bullets on it, I was in therapy regularly before my brother passed away. But, my next appointment was that next Thursday and I couldn’t get any emergency help. I was in a horrible place and I needed help immediately. But, with that experience, I realized that everything that I had dabbled with like exercise and meditation had to become a core practice and I had to be more consistent. Chris was just a big part of my self-confidence. When he passed, all of that was shattered. The thing that I was able to find as an anchor were my values and my purpose statement. So, I had a practice…like sometimes half a day…until I arrived at something that felt deeply felt.
I took all of those professional and personal experiences together and committed myself to studying about trauma and studying about healing. Unfortunately, three months later, my brother, Darren, who I did not know was sick, also passed away. Then, I got fired from the job I had at the time. But, that really helped shed my dependency on external validation.
So, I decided to invest in me. I had this product that was laying dormant. So, I drove around the country, told people my story, and ask people to play this game with me. I spent three months meeting with strangers and playing the game. There was a workshop in Arizona with a crowd of people from ages seven to seventy!
I took the Happy Hour Actually Curious deck that I developed with my now wife and it explores what makes you happy…focusing on your dreams, memories, and desires. These are things that help me from seeking drugs or alcohol.
Like for example, “What is one thing I am proud to have inherited from my parents?” I spent so much time comparing myself to these rich kids and the access that they had. But, I really needed to double back and understand where the abundance was springing from all around me from my parents. We poured all of that into the Happy Hour edition.
Isabelle: It’s interesting that you are pulling your happiness and abundance from your identity as a son and the abundance that you get from your parents. It makes me think about the abundance that we can get from other identities as well. Like, you are not only a son but also a dad and a husband. But, how do you secure that abundance through self-love?
Michael: I have this morning routine that I started when Chris passed away. I am up between three and four-thirty in the morning. I meditate and focus on my purpose statement. Right now, my purpose statement for the new year is, “My personal excellence is the proactive pursuit of freedom, empathy, and quality moments.” Even though there have been unpredictable moments in my business in the last year, I have probably spent more time with my baby girl than previous generations were ever able to. I am also into mapping my emotional physiology and figuring out where emotions are within my body.
During my time at the Chanel learning lab for Black Ambition Prize, we were discussing what the phrase, “Every minute counts,” means to us. One person said that it means that time is money and that if we miss this opportunity, then it may be our last. And, I hear that! But, I have to push against that. Maybe you don’t need to make that decision right now. I also have to step away from that scarcity mindset.
Isabelle: I think your story shows that and you are living in so much abundance, not just financially, but also in other ways that would really make your ancestors proud. When I listen to you talk about your struggles and the mountains you’ve climbed, I feel proud of you and your efforts and how you are building.
Michael: It’s wild to think about the collective efforts that have really tried to undermine who we are as Black people over history and yet we persevere!
Isabelle: Yes, I know! They really tried to eradicate our souls but we are still out here doing what we need to do! What advice do you have to other Black millennials who may be entering into the space of partnership, fatherhood, and/or entrepreneurship?
Michael: Well, the thing that is jumping out to me is to be curious. Introduce various, copious schools of thought around healing and self-knowing because the codes that we are working with are not necessarily the ones that are best for us. We have to curate new codes and pass along new codes. It is very, very human to live in scarcity mindset. But, you need to catch when you are solely existing in that mindset in order to break free and see the miracles of every day.
This interview has been edited for clarity and length.
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